


Fear Might Be The Death of Me (Don't Forget About Me)

by nicotinewrites



Series: Sanders Sides One-Shots [2]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders Has Panic Attacks, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders Being Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders is a Sweetheart, Dark Sides As Family (Sanders Sides), Dark Sides as Family, Good Sibling Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Octopus Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Post-Episode: Dealing with INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS, Protective Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Protective brothers, Spider Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Sympathetic Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Sympathetic Dark Sides (Sanders Sides), there could be a sequel if you want
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-22
Updated: 2020-09-22
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:21:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26599735
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nicotinewrites/pseuds/nicotinewrites
Summary: Virgil needed help. He was spiralling and was so damn afraid that his fears would come true. Good thing he had one of the best brothers around to support him (and it's not who you may think).
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Deceit | Janus Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Logic | Logan Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Other Dark Sides, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Sleep | Remy Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Thomas Sanders, Dark Creativity | Remus Sanders & Deceit | Janus Sanders
Series: Sanders Sides One-Shots [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1899910
Comments: 10
Kudos: 121





	Fear Might Be The Death of Me (Don't Forget About Me)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Pixiheartgirl21](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pixiheartgirl21/gifts).



> Hi everyone!  
> This is a request for pixiheartgirl21. Hope it's what you want (if you want a sequel, please let me know).  
> As always, trigger warnings for this work are:  
> Self-deprication;  
> Suicidal thoughts (ducking out);  
> Disturbing imagery (it's Remus);  
> Talk of monster-fucking;  
> Panic attacks;  
> Sex mention.   
> If there's any other triggers I haven't included, please let me know.  
> Happy reading,  
> Ash xx

Virgil made a mistake. He didn’t mean to, he really didn’t, but now the Light Sides knew exactly what he was.

At least, that’s what he assumed. It was only Logan who saw him as he truly was, helping him calm down after filming the video, but he had to have told Patton and Roman, right? Logan might not have had a problem with it- or he was an even better liar than Dee- but that didn’t mean the others felt the same way. Especially not Patton. For fucks sake, the self-proclaimed Fun-Loving Father FigmentTM was terrified of spiders. If he found out that Virgil was part spider, what would happen? If he found out that Virgil was _him_ , what would happen? At best, he’d have to go stay with his true family permanently. At worst... At worst, he’d get thrown to the Subconscious and forced to fade away. Sure, his presence in Thomas would be there, but he’d be less than a figment. He’d be nothing more than a reflex, a shadowy thing keeping Thomas safe in the recess of his mind.

Just like he wanted to be, when he tried to duck out before. Maybe he should try again? It would make everything so much easier, wouldn’t it? The Light Sides probably hated him, even if Logan claimed they didn’t. Even if they didn’t Thomas definitely hated him. Of course he did. That betrayed look on his face when Virgil finally admitted he was one of the Others (he was so close to telling him he still saw himself as one, but he couldn’t) and told him everything he needed to know. He wasn’t wanted by his host and that meant everything to a Side. He’d been banished to the Subconsious before, stirred on by Patton but ultimately caused by Thomas. He didn’t blame Patton anymore- he was only young when it happened- but that was a deep-rooted fear that almost always controlled him. A deep-rooted fear that caused him to both become Paranoia and have more spider traits than he used to.

It’s not like he wouldn’t miss Dee, Re, Rem and the others, but he guessed they wouldn’t miss him. Sure they’d be sad for a while, but they’d move on right? Dee still had kids to look after, kids who didn’t spit vitriol at him on camera, going straight for his vulnerabilities. Granted, he did the same- and they both knew it was just for show, a way of Virgil separating himself from the Dark Sides- but Virgil knew he was holding back. He’d seen him lash out before and it always left his opponent (usually Patton) with deep metaphorical wounds. Remus had other siblings to protect and care for, siblings who didn’t jab at him and basically imply he was nothing more than a common cold, just a minor inconvenience. Virgil knew that it wouldn’t offend him- honestly, Ratty was just about invincible against insults these days- but he still felt bad for saying it. He had to protect his cover, yes, but that didn’t mean he had to be so horrible. It was the same with Dee. He probably would have praised him, saying he was proud for Virgil looking after himself without his family to be there for him, but it didn’t make it any easier. He went round to his family as often as possible- falling back into the pattern of playful banter with Ratty, Rem and Gee whilst Mano, Re and Dee watched on with fond looks- but that did nothing to assuage (a word courtesy of the flashcards Logan made the Light Sides one time) his guilt. How could it? He was purposely hurting his family in order to make it seem like he willingly left them and was devoted to being with the Light Sides. He was manipulating Thomas and the others into thinking he was one of them and was hurting the people who always had his back in the process.

He was a villain. And villains deserved to be exiled.

“You better not be about to duck out again, Virgey. I’ll break your kneecaps and tie you up with your own ribcage if you try that again.”

Ratty’s voice broke Virgil out of his thoughts. He was sat in the middle of his room, spider legs cocooning him and fangs rubbing against his lip. His hands shook, shadows moving under his skin and he sobbed.

“ ** _I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I didn’t mean to hurt you and say you were worthless I’m a horrible person I’m sorry-”_**

“Shh, little spider. Can I hug you? Is that alright?”

Virgil nodded and Ratty wrapped him in a hug, tentacles pressing against his skin. The pressure was relaxing and part of his panic melted away, along with the shadows. The spider traits still stayed though.

“Is this about the video? Stupid question, it’s obviously about the video. I haven’t seen you this bad since The Great Cookie Factory Incident of 2016… Wait. You told Thomas didn’t you?”

“ ** _He looked so scared and betrayed he’s going to send me to the Subconscious and I panicked and Logan saw me and I was in spider form and he didn’t say anything but he’s probably told Patton and Roman and they’ll tell Thomas and they’ll send me back and icantgobacknotagainpleaseRattyican’t.”_**

“Shh, little spider. They won’t send you back there. Even if they tried, we wouldn’t let them. Mano would refuse to be present for months- and we all know Thomas loves to nut- Dee would literally go feral, Gee would probably destroy the Light Sides, Remy would join Mano and Re, well. Xe would just show those goody-two-shoes what it’s like to lose someone like that.”

“ ** _But why do you guys care about me I hurt you constantly it’s not what family does I’m sorry for calling you a common cold I’m sorry.”_**

“Don’t do that, little spider. We all agreed on things we’d say and things we’d avoid when on film, right? You stuck to those rules and made sure you never said anything that could have hurt me. I know you did the same for good ole Snakeface too. There were so many chances when you could have blurted out every juicy speak we’ve had.”

Virgil grimaced, but on the inside he laughed. Not a good idea to encourage him though so he had to internalise that shit.

_“ **Just call it gossip, Ratty. Juicy speak doesn’t even make sense.”**_

“I’m creativity. My job isn’t to make sense. That’s Nerdy Wolverine’s job.”

**_“That’s your life motto, I’m guessing?”_ **

“Nope. That’s: life is too short to be stuck-up like Roman, so whenever you see a hot monster in the Imagination, fuck them.”

“ **Remus!”** Virgil said, chuckling a little.

“What? I mean, you’ve seen the werewolves and vampires round there. Don’t tell me you don’t want to bang them.”

**“I don’t!”**

The two shared a look and started laughing. It was one of those laughs where when you look at the person the joke is shared with, you laugh more. They must have been sitting there laughing for a good five minutes until their giggles finally petered out. It was then that Virgil realised his spider legs had disappeared. The fangs, however, were still there and he knew they’d be there for a while.

“Seriously though, spiderling. I might not know what those goody-two-shoes are thinking all the time, but I know dark thoughts. None of them, not even Roman, want to hurt you. I would never lie to you about that.”

“ **I kn** ow. You know what I’m like though. **Anxiety isn’t rational. It’s kinda stupid.”**

A gentle smack on his shoulder made Virgil realise he was hunched in on himself, shadows reappearing under his skin. He looked at Remus and the other sighed, the tentacles holding him tighter.

“Hey now, that’s my brother you’re talking about. And I’m very protective of my family. If you say anything about him, I’ll have to physically fight him. Unlike Daddy-dearest, I don’t fight fair.”

Virgil smirked.

“ **Please. We all know I’d** beat your ass any day. Well… maybe not today.”

“Only because I taught you everything you know.”

Virgil rolled his eyes, shadows and fangs fading. The Light Sides might hate him for something he couldn’t control- and Thomas might be afraid of him forever- but he knew that no matter what he had the Others. He had his family. And that was all he needed to live another day.

**Author's Note:**

> I have a few more requests to work on but if any of y'all want to request, feel free to. You can request on here, through instagram (same name) or on my Tumblr which is nicotinewrites17.


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